OMG - Right???

So I make my 10:20 flight and get into ATL… my least favorite hub of all time. I have to shuttle over from Concord A to Concord D. Down the escalator, into the shuttle, back up the escalator. Hate this spread out place. And I go to my gate to get my boarding pass. She tells me the flight at 2:52 has been cancelled. Grrrrrr. Breathe deep Alicia.I politely & with resign reply, “That seems to be my luck today.” She types for what seems like 5 minutes and I finally say, “Well, as long as I get to Tallahassee tonight, that is all that matters.” More typing… and typing… and typing. “Do you have anything for later,” I inquire. She looks up at me and says, with all the attitude of Weezie Jefferson, “Do you think all this tapping on this key board means I am counting sheep? I am workin’ on it.”

OMFrigginG. Now I feel like Fred Samson! “Jesus! Help me!”

I just stared at her with my laser death ray. I spoke soothing words to myself inside my head. This is no ordinary schizophrenia. Are they TRYING to provoke an out of body episode with me??? I finally say, very calmly for my mood might I add, “Customer service is dead in this industry.” Oooooooh… but I am thinking much worse. She gives me a stand-by ticket for 4:36 and a confirmed seat for 6:05 if that one doesn’t pan out. That gate is on Concord C. Down the escalator, into the shuttle, back up the escalator and into the nearest Paschal’s for a large & continuous glass of wine. Couldn’t help thinking of Jesus’ first miracle. Those barrels never ran dry. A girl can hope, right???

Waxing spiritual just once more… this is proof positive that the old spiritual cliché that says, “What’s in your heart comes out through your mouth” is absolutely untrue. It would have been a scene from Kill Bill if that were true.